Pissed!

AHHHHHHHHH! Today has been a very bad day for me. Firstof all, of all I don't feel well and anyone who knows me knows why, but today is one of my worse days. I havn't told my girl because she will get all worried and I don't want her to.

I go to the local Good Samaritan Inn in my city to eat lunch everyday because I am one of those many people in the U.S. that doesn't have a job because of the economy and the fact the more that 2,500 have been laid off from their jobs in the last 3 months in my city alone. Today I went to eat and on my way home I had to run to the bus station because the busses were getting ready to leave and so I shoved my mp3 player into my pocket because I didn't have time to fiddle with it. I was tired when I got home because I had been up all night writing reviews online (a Helium article as well) so I went to bed. This evening when I woke up I went to get my mp3 player out of my coat pocket and it was gone! Needless to say I am pissed.

I am pissed at myself because I know better that I should pay attention to what I am doing. I am a perfectionist and I always pay attention to every little minute detail and because of my sickness I have been slipping as of late. I a pissed because music is one of the few things (other than my girl) in my life that ever really makes me enjoy life. I am not in awe by the universe or people and nothing really impresses me besides music and most art. I am impressed by some intellectualism, but people like us are few and far between anymore. Now I have lost one of the few things that makes me happy and I have no way to get a new one.

I have money coming soon form my tax refund, but it is spent already. I have to buy a computer, for the ability to make more money of course, and the rest is going to my mom since we are poor and I just can't live off of her for free. She understands my plight of course and respects me because I do work hard at what I can do online. I don't know what to do. I meed my music and I need an mp3 player. I am pretty much screwed.

Don't get me wrong people, I am not whining. I have had hardships most of my life, but music is very important to me. Once I get my new computer I will be able to listen to music through my pc in my headphones, but I need music even more when I go out and ride the bus. I am just sad is all. I'll get over it, life goes on...