Sunday, March 11, 2012


I try to be calm as tomorrow morning my twin boys will be born. I am usually the one that nothing bothers and nothing scares me and I have always had times in my life so most things do not phase me. But now. but now. But now my mind is racing at a thousand miles and hour which is usual for me, but it's usually racing on different things, but now.. But now my mind is focused on just this one thing.

I can't stop myself from still being amazed by the lives we are bringing into the world. I really never thought I could have children, I have tried for years since I was a teenager I've been trying lol. And now at 34 years old I finally did it!!!!

We go to Springfield tomorrow and we have to be there by 6am and so we have to leave early around 5am since it's about a 45 minute drive. We have two good hospitals here, but one of or boys may be a slight bit too small and since St. Johns in Springfield is specifically for children our doctor thought ti would be a good idea to have them there. She has to have a c-section and I know she's really not looking forward to it, but she has to do whatever better for the babies and her. Of course, we're worried as any parents will be, but the babies are actually good sizes for twins and there have been way smaller babies that end up turning out great. We are just going there just to be ready for anything because until they get here we won't know what condition they will be in.

Sebastian Alan is Baby A and he has been the biggest most of the pregnancy with a difference varying between 9-20%, but they have still continued growing so the doctor wasn't too concerned. As long as they are growing and have good blood flow then they will be fine.Gabriel Jean is Baby B the smallest, but as I've said he's still doing great. I am going to cry when they are born of course. I have been crying off and on all the time (with joy of course) and I'm not ashamed; I am a man and I am proud that I know and understand my emotions and I know it's good to cry. It's part of what makes us human. Those who don't cry concern me. As a great band I listen called Chevelle says: "I'd live a life of raw emotion than a life content death...".

My boys website:

In other news I have been in Photoshop lately now that I don't have my job anymore (I am looking for work believe me) and I was doing a lot of graphics for the boys site, but yesterday I decided to do a sig for the first time in almost 3 years and here's the result, I'd say it's not half bad:

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